If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know

too many people, but not one person.
so afraid of being left out,'
so afraid of coming last,
so afraid of the unknown.

paper birds.
something out of nothing.



> I'm not making sense. I don't want to. I am upset. with you, with them, with her. <

There's only one way to stop a MAD WATCH.

14 days until Christmas.
yippeee.
working on my wish list.
i cut my butt last night.
i slid onto a bench, and onto a piece of glass.
and sliced my butt.
and my pants.

i haven't had ice-cream for so long. and i miss it.

Not me, your grace! The ace, the ace!

The train passed by my window yesterday.
I didn't notice.
Only, now i wish i had.



Artwork by Henry Darger.

Can you stand on your head?

{this little girls name is Iza. she is the sweetest thing.}

when did bath time stop being fun?
i guess a lot of things lose their excitement as we get older.
it's sad, really.

If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.

My Grandparents on the night of their engagement.
one day when I'm married, I'd like to be as happy as they are.

I think my gran looks pretty and my Pops, dashing.



I do wish they lived next door so i could hop the fence and visit,
to hear stories about my Pops childhood in Madeira and coming to South Africa alone as a seventeen year old with R50 in his back pocket.
And to bake biscuits with my gran.


Just like when i was a little girl.


-Patterns exam tomorrow,if I fail it,I fail the year. No pressure.-

Who's been painting my roses red?

{not my polaroid}

marry me and build me a tee-pee,
so we can sit in the garden and pretend we are not here.

marry me and write me a song,
so they'll know you loved me long after we're gone.

marry me now.
while I'm still young.
ill make toffee apples and we'll bask in the sun.





[Had my plaster removed today.Seriously hardcore scare left behind...]

Do you suppose she's a wildflower?

Jenny Curran: Why are you so good to me?
Forrest Gump: You're my girl!
Jenny Curran: I'll always be your girl.

Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.

I have so much work to do today.
drawing and beading and cutting and pasting.
usually when i have a lot of work, i find other things to do.

like look at blogs and such.

i love these illustrations by Esther Kim

Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here.

so, turns out.
those recurring stomach pains weren't from stress.
my appendix was trying to let me know it needed some time out.
I didn't wanna listen.
so it burst.
spent three nights in the hospital.
but I'll post soon. Just gotta get me better.

i don't know if its the medication or lack of fresh air-but I'm thinking with an Alabama/Texan accent. is that normal?

the grandparents arrive tomorrow. can't wait.

Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.

Lately, when i am stressed out, my body reacts by going into distress.
and then i suffer from the most intense stomach pains i have ever experienced.

I have procrastinated and now i have a large sum of work i need to get done.
and my body doesn't like it.

i cannot take it.

and when you reach the end... Stop.

run, run as far as you can.
along the way you might see your gran.

[pffft.]

im my own biggest fan.
nah, i kid.
I'm yours.

Oh yes mustard! That'll do... Mustard? Don't let's be silly. Now lemon, that's different...

Yes, we can!

[I'm glad he is running the US now. they need a change]






im sad.
its silly, really.
silly girl stuff.

Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?

Big people, big decisions.
Nasty people, nasty words.
Silly people, silly actions.

The middle is where i always am.
The girl who didn't get picked for a team.
"I can do it, I can, i promise."
but its her, isn't it?

Hard to breathe.
Have to breathe.

Girls are much to clever to fall out of their prams.

Thursday is my favourite day of the week.
Not because tomorrow is Friday.
Thursday just feels good.
smells good.

silly, i guess.
but for me it's true.

I have a big design project to do over the weekend.
That makes me a little sad.
I didn't want to spend my weekend in front on the computer.
Went to the library for the second time this week.
i can stay in there for hours.
Just browsing.
At anything really.

Borrowed a few interesting books on clothing in history, shells [for research]
photography...

Gah, how i love books.
I just don't read enough.
I start books, and then find another, and so, i currently have many unfinished books on my nightstand.

That makes me a little sad too.


[the kids on the bicycles in the picture i edited above, thats me and Robyn, that is.]

Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience..

to dance, to prance.
to drink from the sink.
silly things one does.

Oh, the cleverness of me.

tickle tickle.
yes she is better.
yes she is prettier.
no i dont know.

excuse me.
i'm just looking for my heart.


[bleh.]


today i learnt to do felting.
yessss.
my life long dream has been fulfilled.
perhaps not life-long.
but its been a while...

It's easy! Let's see... You think. You wink. You do a double blink. You close your eyes... and jump!

Birds and leaves and boys in trees,
only just learning to breathe.
Buttons and zippers and lady-like things.
But only until the telephone rings.


HA!

Didst thou ever want to be a pirate?

i had my first swim this Summer today, ah, I love love to swim.

Watching Peter Pan [new version] again tonight reminded me of how much I love that story.
Every line is worth remembering. I should re-read the book by J.M Barrie.



This weekend was good.
I just want a holiday now.

But didn't you just say - I mean - Oh, dear

My new favorite thing: Peter Pan collars. Did one today at college, and desperately want to make a little dress with one of these collars on.

Happy Birthday to Tom.



take a look see at his and Johno's blog.


[I'm eating an abnormal amount of Smarties lately... can't be too good?]

Can you stand on your head?

on my way out to celebrate the best friend and sebastians birthdays.

i do love a party.


im wearing:

purple high waisted skirt.
white tee.
black top/jacket thing.
Navy tights.
black lace up dance shoes.
blue headband.

If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter

I really like these collages by Esdar Maren.
They make me smile.

Rain today. sort of unexpected?

Today I'm wearing:
Black dress
white tights
leather boots
blue cardigan
blue scarf.


bleh.

What kind of a garden do you come from?

painting with flowers
writing our names in the air
i miss these days of playfullness

Would you like a little more tea?

I love to look through our family albums, the photos of my parents as youngsters, and my sister and i as kids make me happy.
I'm going to start putting some up.
This is one of my favorite photos of my mom.
Shes my age and this was take during RAG week at Uni.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.

I love the Shoot Annie Liebowitz has done for the Disney campaign, these are a few of my favorites:

Is that all?

Ilsa: I can't fight it anymore. I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us.
Rick: All right, I will. Here's looking at you, kid.
Ilsa: [smiles] I wish I didn't love you so much.

aah. Casablanca.

Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life.

feeling icky.
Replenishing my body with vitamin C.
Apparently tomatoes have the highest vitamin C content?
I drink a lot of orange juice.
Perhaps i switch to tomato juice.
Euw.
I hope chicken noodle soup is rich in vitamin C,
as i do consume my fair share.


'nuff said.


I want to reread Roald Dahls books.
Especially Matilda, the twits and James and the giant peach.



i love my bathrobe way too much.

I'm late I'm late For a very important date. No time to say "Hello." Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

as the bird flew,
the little girl grew.

into an abnormally tall metronome.

{ teehee }

song for today: People - Metric

Off with their heads.

There are times in ones life, when all you want is for the floor to open up, swallow you in and throw you back out when things are better.







This is one of those times.

Better read it first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.

My song list for summer:


getting down - the kills


[ REPEAT ]

Clean cup, clean cup. Move down.

ribbons in my hair.
petals in the air.
the neighbor i never knew.

[oh yes. ]
even a little rhyming.



I've been thinking a lot lately about how badly I would like to go back to Disney World for a holiday. That place is amazing. I just wish i could have met the man behind it all.

Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing but a pack of cards.

sitting in teacups,
spinning round.
its better to be on the ground.






[PAH!]


Many more silly riddles to follow.
I know you like it.

Ahoy, and other nautical expressions!

This weekend i was a leader at a kids conference/camp out at my church, I had such a great time, the children are adorable! Most of them come from the township down the road, so they don't have much. These children are so happy, exited to be there and grateful for every small thing they get. It was such an uplifting experience!

I will post pictures soon.

How good is Britney looking?
At the MTV Video Music Awards she was radiant, compare this to last years look which was shocking!

Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.

word of the day:

melee \MAY-lay; may-LAY\, noun:
1. A fight or hand-to-hand struggle in which the combatants are mingled in one confused mass.
2. A confused conflict or mingling

[from dictionary.com]


went to see my friends band, This Quilt take part in a battle of the bands last night.
i do hope they win!

listen to their music here.

Photo by Thomas Pepler.

write me a letter, make me feel better.

I would love one of these Olivetti Manual Typewriters from urban outfitters.

Perhaps one day...

Tulips ~ Sylvia Plath

The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in
I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands.
I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.
I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
And my history to the anaesthetist and my body to surgeons.

They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff
Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut.
Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
The nurses pass and pass, they are no trouble,
They pass the way gulls pass inland in their white caps,
Doing things with their hands, one just the same as another,
So it is impossible to tell how many there are.

My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep.
Now I have lost myself I am sick of baggage ----
My patent leather overnight case like a black pillbox,
My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
Their smiles catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks.

I have let things slip, a thirty-year-old cargo boat
Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
They have swabbed me clear of my loving associations.
Scared and bare on the green plastic-pillowed trolley
I watched my teaset, my bureaus of linen, my books
Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
I am a nun now, I have never been so pure.

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free ----
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them
Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.

The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.
Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe
Lightly, through their white swaddlings, like an awful baby.
Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.
They are subtle: they seem to float, though they weigh me down,
Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their colour,
A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck.

Nobody watched me before, now I am watched.
The tulips turn to me, and the window behind me
Where once a day the light slowly widens and slowly thins,
And I see myself, flat, ridiculous, a cut-paper shadow
Between the eye of the sun and the eyes of the tulips,
And I hve no face, I have wanted to efface myself.
The vivid tulips eat my oxygen.

Before they came the air was calm enough,
Coming and going, breath by breath, without any fuss.
Then the tulips filled it up like a loud noise.
Now the air snags and eddies round them the way a river
Snags and eddies round a sunken rust-red engine.
They concentrate my attention, that was happy
Playing and resting without committing itself.

The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
And comes from a country far away as health.